1. People who stand still on flat escalators. Standing on staircase escalators? No problem, you have your bags with you, fair enough… but there’s no excuse for standing still on the flat ones. The airport didn’t spend tens of thousands of dollars installing these things so that you can be a lazy sack of sh*t. If you’re really that tired, step aside and take a 5 minute breather. Or better yet, call one of those golf cart type shuttle things… Don’t get on and block me while I try to use the escalator for it’s intended purpose: moving faster.
2. People who stand in line to board the plane 30 mins early. Ok, you’re seated in row 6. They’re calling rows 25 to 30. Yet, you felt it necessary to walk up to the plane entrance and get in everyones’ way while they try board… No one is going to steal your seat, now go sit down.
3. People who are flabbergasted by the security check. Newsflash, about 6 years ago they started making you take your shoes off. That laptop of yours? It’s gotta come out of the bag. Water bottle? don’t try it… Next time, do everyone a favor and prepare for these things as your approach security, rather than holding up the line for 5 mins while you figure out WTF is going on.
4. The person in your isle seat who decides that they’re not in a rush to leave the plane. Guess what? I am in a rush, and you’re blocking me in. I realize that for you, sitting in a parked plane may be equally, or more, stimulating than getting back to your actual life, but I’m not trying to sit here for an extra 10 mins. Take your sh*t and get off the plane, you’re not doing anybody a favor.
5. Your friend who insists on getting to the airport 4 hours early. I know you have a friend like this. Unfortunately, so do I, far too many of them… and despite the fact that you fly 10x as much as they do, they insist that they "know how busy airports get" and that you need to arrive at least a few hours before your flight. Ok, next time, you do your thing, and give me a call after you get through security… that should give me enough time to wake up, pack, cab it to the airport, and meet up with you as we board the plane.

For those of you not familiar with what Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is, I’ll get into it in much greater detail down the road, but in short, it’s a form a submission grappling. We’re going to be doing the camp with an incredibly talented world champion named Rubens "Cobrinha" Charles from Brazil. I’m really looking forward to it! I also managed to book a direct flight to SD and back entirely off frequent flyer miles, so it only cost me $5.00. Sweeet!

Here’s a clip of "Cobrinha" doing his thing. If you’re not a BJJ/MMA person this might just look like dudes rolling around… That’s okay, I’ll educate you down the road. Enjoy!